After many months apart the long awaiting time to be together has arrived. The days of "together forever" is here now and just like any other couples on this planet, there will be easy days as well as some days when the task to understand each otter will be a little more complex than usual.
I truly believe it is a gift if two people fall in love and they do not speak the same language. You may wonder why? It is because then the couple agrees that they will not understand each other all the time. They agree that there will be times when they will not understand each other. Being married to a Ukrainian woman (or a Russian woman) introduces those aspects to us. You will be assured of moments where you would wonder how the other person came up with "that" idea or perception. But you will have this underlying understanding of each others mutual love and that this by its own is the core of who you are for each other.
Two Biggest Secrets About Married Life to a Sweet Ukrainian Bride (Or Russian Bride)
Ninety Five Percent Of Misunderstandings Are Due To The Lack Of Language Development:
When I set out to search for my sweet Ukrainian bride abroad, I said to myself that she had to be able to speak English. Little did I know that destiny had another plan for me and I feel deeply in love and married a beautiful Ukrainian woman who knew limited English at the time. But my heart steered me into another direction and quickly I had to learn some Russian while she developed her English.
 Many couples experience this surprise when falling in love with a sweet Ukrainian bride (or Russian bride). When married life together sets in, there are many things to learn about each other. In addition to the normal components that couples would learn about each other, Anglo-Russian couples are faced with the additional cultural and language challenges. Because language is something that is learned slowly, if your Russian or Ukrainian bride does not speak much English, you can be assured that it will take at least 3-5 years to speak the language well. After 1-year you will already see the leaps she had made from where she started but expressing things precisely could be very challenging at times.
How does this impact your relationship? It does in a very powerful way. Lets say you ask your sweet Ukrainian bride (or Russian bride) a question and her response is simply "Why". In many cases you could feel that "why" is a abrupt answer, whereas a response like "what are your reasons?" or "another suggestion is…" would feel more normal to you who have been speaking English your whole life long. See, there are many more gentle ways of expressing "why".
Let’s look at another example, the word "no". You could ask your Ukrainian wife, "Honey, did you pick up the laundry today?’ and she could respond – "no". Well, "no" has many more gentle ways of being expressed. If she knew the words, she could tell you "I could not get everything done today" or "Sorry, but Dona came over and …". Do you see where I am going with here? As your sweet Ukrainian bride develops her language, you might sometimes get responses that you are not use to. They will not be because she is abrupt or disrespectful, but simply because she will be constructing sentences with the best words she knows.
As the man, you have been use to the more gentle expressions your whole life and here she sometimes might respond with "no" or something similar – as appose to the gentler response you have been use to. It is very important to remember the core of that you and your Ukrainian bride (or Russian wife) are all about, your mutual love and affinity for each other.
Getting her to drive will change YOUR live:
When I was over in the Ukraine I was repeatedly fascinated by the huge and efficient public transportation system. I remember seeing the Kiev underground and the magnitude of people they transport every day. There was this one escalator that we had to take that went down under the metro so far that you could not see the top. The ride was about 5 minutes on a single ride.
In addition they have what is called a mini-taxi system, which is a very efficient and affordable transportation system. Just like many other European cities, the need to own a car is small, but for population from this part of the world, it is also difficult.
One of the most difficult things for your sweet Ukrainian bride (or Russian bride) will be to adapt to a life where she needs a car. It is a good plan to send your darling for some driving classes while she is still abroad, but I suggest not worrying about her taking the exam in her home country. Passing the exam in the Ukraine or Russia is very difficult and extremely expensive. This will give a small taste what driving is all about. For most Ukrainian or Russian women this will be the first time in their life they drive.
We have to discuss the impact this has on you, the husband. Upon her arrival you will be her sole provider of transportation. Remember she needs to learn some English and then start studying for the driving exam. This we will cover in a moment. But as the husband, after a long day at work you could find your sweet Ukrainian bride (or Russian bride) wanting to get out and about since she has been in the house for most of the day. This can be difficult for us men who just finished a full day of working. In addition, you could quickly see how difficult it is to balance your needs and interests when only you drive around for both of you.
I suggest to all my clients to get her to take the "driving permit" exam ASAP. The "Driving Permit" exam is a theory only exam. Very few people know this but DMV allows you (at least in Texas) to bring your own interpreter and take the exam in your own language. Yes, this is true. It is difficult to find the literature in her language, but I have one suggestion. DMV in California has a driving manual in Russian. The rules should be very similar for most states. Google "California Drivers Handbook (DL 600) Russian". This will get you started.
Remember! Be patient with her. Driving is a brand new experience for her and you will most likely be her best teacher.
In Closing:
Two of the greatest challenges when getting use to married life with your sweet Ukrainian bride (or Russian bride), is adapting to some of the limitations that you knowingly introduced when agreeing for her to join you in your mutual life together. Driving and language will always play a big role in your lives together. Be patient with her and she will appreciate you for every minute of your patience. |
